Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



What is Disenfranchised Grief?

Grief is, because love is #3

What does the word ‘disenfranchised’ conjure up for you? Perhaps helplessness, not being taken seriously, powerlessness? There is just so much of this in the world today. What about when it comes to grief?

Well it can be a complicated subject, but in essence, it is a grief experience, connected with a loss, that is generally not taken seriously. Examples would be a child’s pet goldfish who has died, maybe the loss of a job, a miscarriage, a mate lost on the battlefield. As an extreme example, the loss of an unfaithful lover.

Just because the world does not see the loss as significant, does not reduce the loss, and the subsequent grief for the person. Imagine a child, having breakfast, looking over to a fish tank, and seeing a favourite gold fish floating on the surface? This may be their first exposure to death, and they may no know how to react.

All loss is significant, even a goldfish, and as such, care must be taken to acknowledge the loss. Explain that it is OK to feel sad, and have a proper ritual such as burying the goldfish, so goodbyes can be said. With a beloved pet, keep the collar. ALL loss is significant.

This commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional.

Photo by Hannah jones on Unsplash


Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

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