Trevor Hayley

 

Funeral and Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family.

Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

 

 

Funeral and Memorial Services

There is grief, because we have loved.

The person may no longer be physically here, but the relationship will continue, just in a different way.

And you may want someone to sit and be present with you, provide space for you to remember, talking together about your emotions and wishes for the memorial. At this time you might be feeling overwhelmed by what has just happened and want to be able to mark your loss in some way.

You want warmth, respect, sensitivity, someone to be present with you, walk with you, and rekindle memories, for people to gather to support you and your family in your time of sorrow. 

Most of us want to be able to make a difference, to leave the world a better place. To be in the lives of families, when you have had a loved one die, to be able to provide practical and compassionate care is what has drawn me to facilitate meaningful funerals and memorials.

How I can care for your family through this difficult time:

  • By asking for me by name when you meet with your Funeral Director when making arrangements.
  • If you do not want a funeral service, but find that a memorial is a more fitting tribute, please do not hesitate to contact me. I have performed memorials at locations such as The Sporting Car Club in Hyde Park, Belair National Park, Old Willunga Courthouse and Regional South Australia.

What can you expect from me:

  • A visit to your home, or other location, where there will be space to reflect, and together, to prepare a fitting tribute.
  • I will encourage family members to deliver the eulogy, but will also be available to ‘step in’ if required.
  • To liaise with the Funeral Director, if there is one, before and on the day.
  • To be present with family members, respectful, warm and comfortable.
  • To be a listening ear in what is a difficult time for all involved.
  • To deliver the funeral or memorial service in a warm, personalised and professional manner.
  • For your peace of mind I have a appropriate insurance and DCSI Clearances

Please feel free to call me on 0409 107 372 to discuss arrangements.

“Trevor conducted a Memorial Service in honour of my mother. He visited us several days prior to the service and we were impressed by his kind and caring manner and how thorough he was in covering all aspects of the service. On the day he conducted a very sensitive and personal ceremony – with support and understanding for family members. He understood that we wanted to celebrate Mum’s life and it was a joyous occasion.”

Please call me to discuss your requirements

Trevor Hayley Civil Celebrant
Trevor Hayley Conversation cafe

Caring Conversations Café

There is beauty in the sharing of human experience. Although Caring Conversations Café is not a professional counselling space, it is a safe and respectful place where people can come and share their grief journeys with each other, and provides a small way for memories to continue and for journeys and life to be shared. Apart from grief, discussions can also be in other areas if desired. There are some flexible alternatives, which can be tailored to your needs:

  • Sponsorship – for a business or organisation wanting to be aligned with a caring space by sponsoring an event in an existing commercial café, where people enjoy complimentary coffee and cake
  • Facilitator – if you would like me to come and facilitate an event in any location; your own premises, a café etc.
  • Government – whether Federal, State of Local, the Café would be suited in a library or community centre setting.

‘Caring Conversation Café’ is a registered business name with ASIC. If you would like to find out more, feel free to contact me on 0409 107 372. For your peace of mind, I carry insurance and hold current DCSI Clearances.

 

 

Trevor Hayley Funeral Celebrant caring cafe

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the difference between a funeral and memorial?

In a funeral, the coffin is present, with the deceased inside. Given the time sensitivity, funerals will usually happen within two weeks of death and after, the funeral the body will go to burial or cremation. With a memorial service, whether there has already been cremation, or the body has been unrecovered, there will be a ceremony where memories will be shared. There is not the time sensitivity of funerals, with more time to think of the most fitting memorial.

Eulogies can be scary. Can you help me?

Yes, they are one of those moments. Although public speaking is not enjoyed by all who try, funerals and memorials do provide a wonderful opportunity to tell the story. But’s lets take the pressure off a little. I will always encourage the family to write the eulogy. but then leave it open on the day, whether a family member deliver it or not. If you decide at the last minute you can’t deliver the eulogy, I will be able to deliver it for you. Alternatively, if you decide you can on the day, just step in.

Do you provide civil or religious ceremonies?

My main concern is that your wishes are respected. Whether you desire a civil ceremony, a religious ceremony, or a bit of both. I can cater for whatever you think is appropriate.

Does a memorial need to be in a chapel or church?

No. I have performed memorials in the Sporting Car Club in Hyde Park, Belair National Park, Old Willunga Courthouse (where we released butterflies), Chapels, as well as a Cemetery in the South East of South Australia. Find somewhere fitting for the life that was; somewhere where memories are rekindled, and somewhere people, families and friends can gather, and for the grief journey to commence in the best way possible.

Do you know any Funeral Directors?

As I operate in Greater Adelaide, I am familiar with the firms in Adelaide. Based on your individual and specific requirements, I can make recommendations about which firm would be the most appropriate for you and your family. Funeral Directors are caring, compassionate and present, and are experts in the behind the scenes arrangements to ensure a warm and professional memorial.

What is grief?

Grief is individual and unique to each one or us. There is no right or wrong way to grieve; what is right for you, is right for you;  but, it is a ‘journey’ we need to go through after a loss; a ‘journey’ that is critical to our ongoing well-being. I invite you to read some of blogs I have written on this site, where I consider grief in more detail.

Being Present

Being present, my core value………………………..

People have a desire to be truly heard, to be able to tell their own unique story, and to be understood. To be able to connect with someone, giving my undivided attention, and to listen ‘inwardly’ to the nuance that makes each person unique is the best gift I can bring. You are more than a client; you are a fellow traveller in life.

“Thank you, Trevor, for the caring way in which you conducted Uncle’s service. It was a relief to us when you initially came to Aunt’s residence to discuss the service requirements. Aunt was experiencing profound grief and was very depressed, as anyone would be at the time. During her discussion with you, I could see Aunt becoming more engaged and opening up to what she wanted at the service. After you had left, Aunt commented that she felt very at ease discussing Uncle’s service with you, due to the way you were able to make a connection with Aunt. Thank you for engaging also with others at the service. Relatives and friends commented on your kindness.”

Trevor Hayley Funeral Celebrant being present

About me

Trevor Hayley Funeral Celebrant

Thank you for visiting my site. 

Previously I was involved in a professional capacity assisting clients with their accounting and taxation needs for around twenty years. Although I enjoyed the client contact, and many a conversation about non-financial matters, I found a growing ‘disconnect’ with the work, until it got to the point that I had to move on.

Although I already had a Bachelor of Commerce, I retrained in a Certificate IV in Chaplaincy and Pastoral Care. The study was engaging, learning such concepts as client empowerment, being truly present with people, how incredibly unique we all are, as well as general concepts of ‘delivering’ pastoral care to clients. The course also provided extensive training into grief and loss, and it was through this learning I became aware I may have something to offer in this area. This led to me taking the step to establish my own business as a Funeral Civil Celebrant.

On the encouragement of some wise people, I also established ‘Caring Conversations Café’ to practically utilise my skills in grief and loss. Bringing people together in an informal setting, over a coffee; to talk about their grief journeys seems to have met a need in the community. It is a privilege to share in share stories.

My training has also taken me to other areas, including primary school chaplaincy and a weekly coffee morning where fifteen or so people come, all living on their own, to do community together. There are other projects that I am involved in from time to time.

Wherever I go around this beautiful city of Adelaide, I am taken with the amazing stories of people I meet. They are all incredible, because it is this story that defines our uniqueness. To be a positive and caring presence wherever I go is all I can ask for.

Contact

Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372

Email: trevorhayley@internode.on.net

ABN 73 737 609 724

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