Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



Tentative Silence

Is there anybody out there? #25

This blog continues on the series ‘Is there anybody out there?” Feel free to read the previous chapters here

You have been neighbours for twenty years. You noticed something was up, and you had plucked up the courage to go and visit your neighbour Molly. A little while back, Molly shared how love may be an option and had brought it up again, and since ‘Patrick’ (although only a brief meeting) had come into the world, things had shifted somewhat, and you were finding yourself having to visit a distraught Molly at 1am in the morning. She was at a crossroads right now, and in the place they spent special moments together, she is weighing it all up.

Half an hour had gone by, and you had finished your second cup of coffee.

“Are you there” comes the call from the bedroom. “Would you be able to come in?”

You brace yourself, that although you have been in ‘their’ bedroom before, you were aware of the significant space this actually is, and the special memories contained within.

As walk in, you are transformed into another world. The bed was made, complete with all of the cushions and pillows. The lights were low, and there was music playing and the window was open. Quite beautiful really.

“Wow” you say “this really takes on a different aura at night. “An oasis, a place away from the world.”

“Yes it does that” replies Molly.

And then she continued “A sat here for a good twenty minutes, just staring at his photo. Remembering the beautiful place this was for the both of us.”

She paused

“I then asked him………….would it be ok for someone else to come is here?”

“Of course there was no response, but between the yes, no, yes, no, yes, no I became gradually more relaxed with the yes. As I look at us together, and I longed for him to hold me again, I realised this would never be the case.”

There was a pause, and then Molly spoke quietly “This will never be the case again”

“It was at this point” Molly continued, “that I almost heard him say ‘It is OK Molly. You will always have that time with me. Always. There is room for another’ and at that point I kind of knew I could.”

“And so” signed Molly “there is only two things left to do.”

“What are they?” you ask.

“The first is to put the photo in a drawer. I have had it out for a while, after I showed you.”

“Oh” you reply “that was a good idea to have it out. Do you think you can put it, I mean him, in a drawer?”

“Great question” replied Molly “The memories are really inside me anyway. This photo is now a bit of a bonus. And so yes, I think I can……I think.”

“Well” you reply “I suppose you will always have it, and will be able to look at it whenever you need. What was the other thing.”

Molly goes to the cupboard and comes back with a box. 

As she opens it, you realise you had seen the box before.

“Oh Molly, do you think you can?”

She pulls put the special nightie she was going to wear on their anniversary but never got the chance. It had a stunning red floral pattern.

“It is kind of like the camellia out the front” you say “It is quite stunning. Maybe I need to visit a shop look this one.”

“It was $300” replies Molly “make sure the time is right.”

Molly places the nightie on the bed. It set the room alight somehow.

Then you see what Molly is doing. She is imagining the room with someone else.

She turns to you and smiles. “Yes I think I can do this…….I hope”

“Of course” you counter “Patrick, if he is the one, has been through quite a time. He might not be ready. He might need some time, as he would have had his own space, like this one.”

“Oh I have been thinking about that.” replied Molly, “I would not come back in here with someone else, if I was not married. It would not feel right, so I suppose I will become even more comfortable over time. Let’s see what emerges.”

“Thank you” says Molly “This has been a transformational night”

“Oh I did no do much” you reply.

“Trust me, you have.”

As you go home, you are amazed at where the freindship, yes it was a freindship, had gone. What a wonderful experience it has been. When you get back to bed, you nestle into the arms of your husband. 

This commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional.

Photo by Davide Foti on Unsplash



Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

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