Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



Special Silence

Is anybody out there? #5

This blog continues on the series ‘Is there anybody out there?” Feel free to read the previous chapters here

You have been neighbours for twenty years. You noticed something was up, and you had plucked up the courage to go and visit your neighbour Molly. What was awkward silence, has becoming a comfortable silence, and a special bond is starting to form.

You has come back from your two weeks holiday at the shack, and you notice as you pull in the driveway, the cameillia has grown a little taller. “That’s great” you think to yourself, “looks like it will be OK after all.” As you stand there looking, you notice Molly peering through the window. Not a ‘Hi there” kind of look, but more a timid one. Something doesn’t feel right.

After a while she beckons you over, and she meets you at the front door. “How was your holiday?” she asks. “It was good to get away, but it is good to get home. It is good to see the cameillia doing so well.”

“Oh I hadn’t noticed. Things have been rather quiet around here. No family has been, and I did not get that Zoom ™ to work. It has been rather a lonely time. But please, don’t feel guilty, you have been really kind, and we all need a break.”

“Thanks Molly” as you give the camellia a water. “I reckon we are due for one of our porch sessions. Are you free tomorrow morning?”

“Yes, I will see you then.”

As you go inside, you are a little surprised how Molly is. All seemed a little positive last time you caught up, and you were looking forward to hearing all of the news. But no, she seemed to be back to where she was. You go to sleep being not sure of how the porch session will go tomorrow.

The following morning you head over, and Molly is not there. “That’s odd” you think. You just sit down, and then you notice Molly peering out of the window. You beckon for here to come out, and after about five minutes she appears.

“Thank you for you persistence” says Molly. “I thought the last two weeks were going to be good, but it did not turn out how I planned it to be. I am intolerably lonely again.”

You sit for a while. A special bond has grown between you, and the silence is OK. Then you venture a question “I remember last time we caught up, you had gone to your special spot, and the memories were pleasant. What is about him you miss the most?”

“Yes I have still be going. That has been my saving grace. But…….”

“But what?”

Tears start to well up in Molly’s eyes. “It’s ok” you say, “you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. So you have not seen your family at all?”

“Oh I did see them last weekend, I just remembered. But it just does not feel the same when he is not there. No-one really understands. Not really. But I am thankful you are here.”

As you listen, it hits you again. Molly is all alone, and it was never really part of the plan. But this is where she finds herself now. You remind yourself that her life partner has died, and really there is no process to this stuff. Molly is finding the separation and grief really hard.

“I just had a thought” said Molly. “Would you like to come to our spot with me? I am finding it hard to talk about the stuff I really need to. Being in that special place might help. Maybe not the Sunday morning, but same time next week. They are doing take away coffees.”

“Are you sure Molly?”

“Yes, I think that would be good.”

“Great let’s do it. It will be great to see where the spot is. Maybe in the current climate, I could follow you in my car?”

“Yes great idea.”

As the porch session came to a close, you put a bit more water on the camellia. “It is looking great Molly.”

Molly just smiles.

You have so many mixed emotions about next week. I wonder how it will go? What brought Molly to tears?

In her own good time.

This commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash



Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

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