Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



Silence Replaced

Is there anybody out there? #36

This blog continues on the series ‘Is there anybody out there?” Feel free to read the previous chapters here

You have been neighbours for twenty years. You noticed something was up, and you had plucked up the courage to go and visit your neighbour Molly. It was starting to feel like the ‘porch sessions’ were coming to an end.

‘Well,’ said Molly excitedly, as you were down at the usual spot, ‘much as happened since last week.’

You looked over at Molly, and what was once a nervous and unsure woman, was glowing and confident.

You looked her, and she picked up your hesitation, ‘ok, do we need to check in?’

‘Not so much, Molly,’ you start, ‘I just can’t believe the change in you. I still need to adjust. But I did say to go for it, and so I need to adapt.’

‘But,’ Molly smiled, ‘you just need to check in.’

‘I suppose because I care, that’s all.’

‘You might find this interesting. One of the things our therapist said was to try an disagree with each other about something, and then try to work it through.’

‘Go on,’ you say.

‘Well the thought of holidays came up. We were just dreaming, a little, I suppose.’

‘I suggested a trip overseas, to some exotic location.’

‘He then said, “there is so much in our country to see. Overseas costs so much,” which I was a little surprised by.’

‘I felt myself retreating to a side, if you like, but then I looked at him, and saw this as an opportunity to be different.’

‘I think, maybe he was thinking the same. He then took my hand and suggested that maybe we try here first, and then overseas later.’

Molly paused, ‘I know what you’re thinking, tomorrow never comes, but then he got out a paper and pen, and wrote a promise to an overseas trip later,’ Molly paused, ‘and then he put a love heart.’

‘It’s a start I suppose.’

‘But a bigger discussion point came up,’ said Molly, ‘the therapist said we were overthinking the families get together, and we should just go ahead and do it. Then the issue of where came up.’

‘Of course I said it should be my place, but then he thought it should be his place.┬áThere was back and forth for a moment, and neither of us could agree.’

‘Then what did you do?’

‘Well the therapist suggested that if an issue were to come up, that we were to separate ourselves from the issue, and look at independently of ourselves. It would then be the relationship looking at it, and not us personally.’

‘Did that work,’ you were becoming intrigued.

‘Well yes. The relationship needs to meeting to happen. The relationship also needs to be somewhere neutral, and so we have settled on a restaurant. We have also gone for a private room, just in case.’

‘Good idea.’

‘And so it is all booked for this Friday Night. It is actually happening and everyone knows the reason.’

‘Wow. That is amazing. I will look forward to hearing all about it, if you want to say anything later.’

Molly paused, and was about to ask.

‘No Molly,’ as you grabbed her hand, ‘this is one you will not need me for. I reckon you and Patrick have got it covered. Please go without me.’

‘You are probably right,’ said Molly, ‘Patrick is in my life, now. What does that mean?’

You look into Molly’s eyes who were starting to tear, ‘you may not need me much longer. Don’t get me wrong, I have come to know you as a wonderful friend, and it hope it will continue, but you will not need me, and I cannot believe I am saying this, quite in the same way.’

Molly looked at you, ‘but………..’

‘You have Patrick now. He needs to be your shoulder to cry on, as you will also be his. Your relationship will not grow without it. And besides you also have your children. Jessica is a beautiful daughter.’

Molly looked at you, ‘oh my goodness. I suppose it is…..a good sign.’

‘Yes Molly, you have done more for me than I would have ever thought possible. I am so grateful. Let’s see what happens in the next two or three weeks.’

‘Yes,’ said Molly.

This commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional.

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash


Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

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