Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



Reflective Silence

Is there anybody out there? #29

This blog continues on the series ‘Is there anybody out there?” Feel free to read the previous chapters here

You have been neighbours for twenty years. You noticed something was up, and you had plucked up the courage to go and visit your neighbour Molly. Patrick had taken the plunge, and in a very quite and humble way, he asked Molly out, and she had said ‘yes.’ It was a beautiful moment.

It had been a few days since the last porch session; you assumed Patrick and Molly had gone out. Like all good friends, you were wondering how it had gone.

Patrick was recovering from a tragic divorce, while Molly was carrying the love of her husband who had died. Although the relationships finished in different ways they were now both wanting the same thing. Someone to do life with in the next chapters of their lives.

Only a week back, you had seen Molly in absolute despair, when you were going to see Patrick again the following week.  She called you over at 1am in the morning, after some time of listening and being there when she needed you to be, Molly went through an emotional roller coaster, eventually starting to imagine spending time in her special place; a place just reserved for her and her husband, now with someone new.

The special photo they had taken went in a drawer. The nighty she had bought for a special night with her husband, just before his terminal diagnosis, had been got out again. Molly never thought she would wear it, but now she was starting to imagine it. At the end of the night she had come to a decision.

It was decision you had been talking about for a while. What started out as such a thought being a betrayal of his memory, progressed to the possibility of a new love co-existing with the love she shared with her husband. And when she could picture it, in that moment in their bedroom, the decision could be made.

You remembered with thanks, how Molly’s vivid desciption of ‘setting the sheets alight’ had not only inspired you in this area, but also her daughter Jessica. It would seem the biggest test was yet to come. Whether Molly would be able to give herself to another. How does co-existing love cater for such a thing. It all seemed unchartered territory.

You were hoping the porch sessions would continue. It felt like the world had changed a little, and maybe it was time for Molly to move on. What started out as a scared visit next door, all those months ago, and now transformed into a wonderful friendship; one which had changed your life forever.

Well if the next session was on, it would be in a few days time. You were really wanting to know all the details, but a thought came to your mind, that if the roles were reserved, you may not want to share too much. Molly deserved your respect in this area, and so it would be better, as seemed to be your way, to let her drive the conversation.

You would have to wait and see.

This commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash



Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

If you like to keep informed of my latest news, please subscribe to my monthly email newsletter, by clicking the link below.