Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



There are many losses we face

Grief is, because love is #1

Grief is like untangling a ball of wool.

Grief is most commonly associated with a loss when someone dies. It is in these times, when the physical presence of someone that we have known for years, disappears, it is just so hard to comprehend that they are no longer here. The smile has gone, the conversations, the connections, and the essence of what made ‘them’ who they were. Death is so final. But grief is not only associated with death. It will happen with any sort of loss, relationships, jobs, pets, ageing; the list goes on and on. Just know that grief is needed for our whole selves to be able to deal with the loss, to come to grips with a ‘new normal.’ In my view, although grief has a process-like nature to it, to assign grief as a process is not adequate as it is so much more. To quote Dr Colin Murray Parkes (British Psychiatrist):

“The pain of grief is as much as part of life as the joy of love; it is perhaps the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment…….resistance to change is the basis of grief.”

In other words; grief is demanded by love. There is grief because we have loved. There is one picture that I have found helpful and it may be helpful to you; it may not, as all of our journeys are unique. Grief is like untangling a ball of wool; it is not easy, but it is absolutely necessary.

This commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional.

Photo by Emma Louise Comerford on Unsplash


Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

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