Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



Is Silence Returning?

Is there anybody out there? #22

This blog continues on the series ‘Is there anybody out there?” Feel free to read the previous chapters here

You have been neighbours for twenty years. You noticed something was up, and you had plucked up the courage to go and visit your neighbour Molly. A little while back, Molly shared how love may be an option and had brought it up again. Now you had shared a coffee with ‘Patrick’ who was coming back next week.

You both watch Patrick leave. At this point you were not really sure how the next part of the conversation with Molly was going to go.

The silence seemed to be going on for a while.

Then Molly came out with it “I am such a fool, an idiot. I was quite rude to him!”

You thought for a while, and then responded “I thought you were quite gracious Molly. He seemed to be able to relax. It is quite a horrible story he shared with us. You seemed to handle it really well.”

“You think so. I have been churning inside; it has been a bit chaotic, and I am not sure what I was saying even.”

“No you were fine Molly. Seriously fine, and so you can relax.”

Molly stirred her coffee “Thanks. I suppose I do not know how to feel. He seemed really nice, and I was taken by his smile and his nature. But then I was remembering John at the same time. It is all a bit of a swirling mess. Emotions I have never really felt.”

You think for a while “What is is about John you are remembering in particular?”

Molly responds “Oh just our time down here. I have not sat with another man, down here, since John. It felt a little like Patrick, was a bit of an intruder, coming in on our space. But at the same time I was kind of glad as well. It is kind of like happy and sad at the same time.”

You smile “This is a fantastic spot Molly. Maybe there is nothing, not even Patrick, who will be able to take those memories from you. Maybe there is room for new opportunities to come, as they come and rest beside your existing memories.”

You venture further “If there is room for both, then you do not need to feel guilty. As the memories will remain, as perhaps new ones are created.”

Molly thought for a while “Do you really think that is possible? I mean, aren’t I betraying John’s memory? And it is another guy after all?”

“Maybe there is room for both.”

You see that Molly has relaxed somewhat, and you could also see the wheels turning as she was thinking it through.

You thought maybe a slight change of topic “Has Jessica gone on that holiday as yet?”

“Not yet, that is in a couple of weeks. It sounds like they are having fun.”

Then Molly adds “Gee, it sounds like they are having fun…….. I wonder.”

You know better than to get Molly to explain what ‘I wonder’ means.

“And it looks like we will see Patrick again next week.” you add.

“Oh we did say that didn’t we? I suppose I forgot. Yes let’s see what happens next week.” Molly replies.

This commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional.

Photo by Jean Gerber on Unsplash



Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

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