Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



Is death something to be feared?

 Because of death we appreciate life #16

Is life something we peek in on, hoping no-one will see?

You know, it can be tricky putting yourself out there. Despite our best efforts, our best intentions, and putting all of our efforts in to a new adventure, there are no guarantees, it may all come back, well, a little bit empty.

Trust me, I certainly know this feeling; well my interactions with it, anyway, your experience will be different.

But you get the picture.  

And so based on past experience, maybe you keep yourself hidden, and hoping the world will look in the opposite direction. After all you gave it a go, and nobody really likes to be a failure. All of the ‘learning experiences’ talk, quite does not cut it. 

But something rises up within you. And despite your stern talking to yourself, something along the lines of, ‘not again, surely did you not learn anything from last time,’ but you give ‘it’, or a slightly rehashed version of ‘it’ a go. Maybe this will be ‘it’, the thing the world resonates with; a positive thing you have brought into the world.

It could be there is a growing list of ‘its’ you have put to your name, all with similar results. But the concept of being routine; sleep, work, eat, repeat; is just to sad to contemplate. You are driven to make a positive influence in this worldand if you try to put it off, ‘it’ just comes back to haunt you, and so you follow your ‘inklings.’

Now we could be excused for thinking despite what can be a frustrating journey, we become sad about the lack of results, well tangible ones anyway, and we completely ignore the journey we have been on; that of trying to make a difference.

Surely we should not discount this journey. It is yours, and because it is yours, it is valuable.


Maybe this quote from Anais Nin (1903 – 1977),  who was a French-Cuban-American diarist, essayist, novelist and writer of short stories, becoming a succesful author, has something to offer;

“People living deeply have no fear of death”

Who defines, what living deeply actually means?

Maybe one takeaway, in this journey of making a difference, despite the results, or lack of, would be an interaction with what it means to live deeply. We have dared to imagine life differently, we have dared to do the best we can, and we have dared to not settle into routine. There is a thought beyond ourselves into those around us.

No-one, but us, probably, will truly understand these inner most and deepest motivations. The journey can be a tenuous one.

And maybe when our time comes, and we cast our minds and memories back to those moments, we will be able to inwardly smile, that maybe, just maybe, the world is in a better place, than when we found it. Our lives becoming one of encouragement to those who came across our path, a positive legacy.

We can then walk through the door, knowing there was nothing more we could have done.

The commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional. 

Photo by Khashayar Kouchpeydeh on Unsplash


Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

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