Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



Grief – a part of our shared humanity

Grief is, because love is #13

When you are in the midst of grief; maybe another long night where sleep is elusive, because you are racked with sadness; it is such a lonely experience. No-one else can possible know what you are feeling; no-one else has the depth of connection that you had with the person. What can be possibly gained from such an isolating experience?

There is a startling statistic. One in every one person on this planet; people in the past, people in the present, and people in the future, will die! A 100% mortality rate! And to further complicate this statistic, there will be countless people grieving, because of these deaths. Grief is not something you can get out of; and ignore the grief journey at your peril. Grief is demanded by love, and it is the specific way that we can truly accept the loss as part of our human experience.

And so the death of a loved one, will be faced by all of us. Although our grief journeys will be individual, the feeling of loss is a shared human experience. The fact life has an end point is a factor that binds us all together as a human race. I know for me, when I hear of deaths, either by natural means, or ‘not-so-natural’ means there is a sense of sadness for me. I see the photos; and feel quite powerless as I feel for fellow human beings, often the innocent, that are facing tragedy. For every death, there are those that are grieving. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, pioneer in grief and loss, speaks about his shared experience:

“This is one of the purposes that loss serves in our lives. It unifies us. It helps us deepen our understanding of each other. It connects us to one another in a way that no other lesson in life can. When we are joined in the experience of loss, we care for one another in new and profound ways.”

I know that it is dangerous to say “I know how you feel.” The fact is that we don’t. But, if grief is something that you are going through, you will know the isolating experience it can be. And maybe, there will be an opportunity to share this experience with someone else, going through their own journey. Not with words; not with advice………but by just being there, fully present in the moment. Because, grief is a common shared experience, we know that for sure.

The commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional.

Photo by Laura Dewilde on Unsplash



Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

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