Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



Changing Silence

Is there anybody out there? #19

This blog continues on the series ‘Is there anybody out there?” Feel free to read the previous chapters here

You have been neighbours for twenty years. You noticed something was up, and you had plucked up the courage to go and visit your neighbour Molly. A little while back, Molly shared how love may be an option again. She brought it up, not you, and you were hoping she would bring it up again.

You were taking Molly down in your car to the cafe this week, for the next porch session.

“Gee Molly” you start “It really was wonderful to see that picture last week. It was kind of breathtaking. And hubby agreed we should have one taken too.”

“Fantastic” replies Molly. “Just a hint. You may need a few practices, as it is very hard to get to sleep when you know someone is in your house. What we ended up doing was giving him a key. If we knew we had a beautiful initimate session coming up, I would send a text, saying ‘tonight.’ We kind of got used to the fact, and apparently the process took around two months from when we engaged him, until we had the photo. We never really knew how many times he came around, or the night he took the photo. But we are really pleased with the result.”

“Good idea, sounds like a plan” you reply. “Such a beautiful snapshot in time.”

Molly had gone off into memories. Then she suddenly said “I would like to make some new ones. I am thinking.”

“Do you mean…….” you start.

“Yes. Maybe the time has come for love again.”

“Wow are you sure?” you reply “I mean won’t it feel like……..are you ready?”

“Yes. I have been thinking. I had an amazing time with him. It will be moments I will always cherish. Any new moments will not be replacing those moments. Those moments will always be a part of me. I will always hold on to them, no matter what the future holds.”

Molly paused, and then continued.

“In fact the love we shared will never be repeated. But I think there may be a space for a new love, to sit along side the love we shared.”

This was an astounding revelation. It took a while to process. Then you replied “That is huge Molly, what do you mean?”

“I feel there is enough space for our love to be there, to co-exist with a new love.”

Then Molly continued “And I would only have been able to do this, and think this, because of the times we have shared over the last little while. If it had not been for you, I would have still been in my house with the curtains drawn. I feel I am ready.”

“Gosh” you reply. “Well I suppose if anyone was around, and you got talking, we may need to be a strategy where I leave you to it.”

“Maybe just a nod. But you know what, I reckon you will just know” Molly replied.

The beach and the cafe come into view. It is a beautiful day again today.

“Oh” Molly continued “I got a call from Jessica the other day. They are planning a couple of weeks away soon.”

Then Molly smiled. “And then she said. And Mum there has been smoke. I can’t beleive how good it is.”

‘Molly’s legacy’ you think to yourself. ‘Two other marriages have been saved.’

The coffees have arrived.

This commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional.

Photo by Dennis Buchner on Unsplash



Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

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