Trevor Hayley


Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant

A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life

Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia



Calmed Silence

Is there anybody out there? #33

This blog continues on the series ‘Is there anybody out there?” Feel free to read the previous chapters here

You have been neighbours for twenty years. You noticed something was up, and you had plucked up the courage to go and visit your neighbour Molly. Dates with Patrick had become common now, and it seemed like Molly was embracing this new experience. You were a little ‘protective’ and weren’t sure whether Molly was going too fast, but now you were satisfied. In fact Patrick was just about to sit down.

Molly was about to stand up and greet him, but Patrick bent down and kissed her on the cheek. Their eyes locked for a moment and he sat down.

You were watching all that was unfolding rather intently. 

‘Hello Patrick,’ you start, ‘it is good to see you again.’

‘Who would have thought?”, as he smiled at Molly.

He was noticably different from the first time you had met him, there was confidence about him.

Molly did not waste anytime to broach the subject, ‘we have spent the last few months, through some very interesting times, Patrick. She has been a rock for me, and I would not have survived without her.’

‘Thank you Molly, that is very kind.’

‘And I suppose,’ Molly continued, ‘we have quite a bond now,’ as she smiled at you, ‘and just wants the best for me.’

You were starting to feel like a judge, and that was the last thing you wanted.

‘Do you watch those romance reality shows’, you start, ‘you know those meet the parent episodes?’

‘Oh yes,’ replied Patrick, ‘my ex-wide used to watch those. I never quite understood it really. But yes those episodes could be quite daunting for the guy, being scrutinised like that.’

‘Yes,’ you continued, ‘the last thing I want to be was one of the parents. You deserve better than that. I suppose I have just needed to remind myself.’

Molly sensed your discomfort and continued, ‘we have been speaking about whether things may be going too fast. Love can kind of be like that as times.’

‘That is for sure,’ smiled Patrick.

‘Well I have not given too much away,’ Molly continued, ‘but I did share how we spoke a lot about our previous relationships.’

‘Oh yes, you spoke about your husband with such love and kindness, and the fact he was still with you.’

‘But,’ continued Molly, ‘I was able to say there was room for something new, besides the existing love.’

‘Yes I remember. I was able to share about the fact my trust had been shattered. You were so respectful Molly, and I feel I can again.’

You were watching the two of them talking backwards and forward.

‘I know it is not my place,’ you say, ‘but Molly eventually convinced me this is the real deal.’

‘Yes it took a while, which is kind of nice,’ replied Molly, ‘but yes you are convinced.’

‘Well I am glad,’ replied Patrick, ‘because I do as well. I suppose, at our age, you know when you know. We still have a little way to go, and I am sure there will be some obstacles along the way, but I want to give it a go.’

Molly held Patrick’s hand, ‘yes, me too.’

‘Well’ you reply, ‘what is the next step?’

‘I was thinking about that only this morning,’ replied Patrick, ‘maybe sometime in the near future, would you consider having a chat to someone, you know just to help?’

Molly looked at you, and thought for a while, then asked, ‘what do you think?’

‘Well I suppose, any extra advice would be a good thing, and maybe get things off to a good start.’

‘Well maybe not yet,’ thought Molly, ‘but maybe in the next little while, and I do want to enjoy the newness of it all. Let’s see what happens.’

‘Yes, I agree,’ said Patrick, ‘I never thought I would be in this space again.’

‘There is one other thing,’ as you looked at Molly, ‘are you going to tell your family? It may come as a bit of a shock.’

Molly looked for a moment at Patrick, ‘yes, we are going to need to do that. The three of us, including my daughter,’ as she looked over to you, ‘went out to lunch. It was a wonderful time. Maybe that could be a good option as well? Do that first, and then introduce Patrick, second.’

‘I don’t really see my children,’ sighed Patrick, ‘I kind of lost them too, through it all, so it probably will not be much of an issue from my end. But yes, you have told me about Jessica, and that sounds like a good idea. I will need to prepare myself as well.’

You looked over to Molly, ‘would that be something we could do next week. Maybe not the limo this time, I would be happy to drive.’

‘Limo?’ said Patrick.

‘Yes we went in style last time. This was a little bit to celebrate,’ said Molly.

‘Well that sounds like a plan,’ you continue, ‘are you going out again?’

‘Oh yes, all set for tomorrow night,’ replied Patrick, ‘can’t wait.’

‘Me neither,’ said Molly.

As you looked at the both them, holding hands, you could not help yourself, ‘you absolutely sure?’

They both looked at you and nodded.

As Molly drove you home that day, you texted hubby, ‘hope you have got your energy up Darling. Will need all of you tonight.’

This commentary in this blog is intended to be general in nature. It is just some observations from one fellow traveller in life to another. If anything in this blog raises issues for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or consult with a trusted medical professional.


Photo by Alexandr Podvalny from Pexels


Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia

Phone: 0409 107 372


ABN 73 737 609 724

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