Trevor Hayley
Funeral and Life Memorial Celebrant
A Caring Presence for you and your family so you can Celebrate a Life
Servicing Greater Adelaide, Fleurieu, South Coast and Adelaide Hills Regions of South Australia
Blog

Grief – the great unraveling
When a significant person dies, is it possible, for those of us who remain, to untangle ourselves from the ‘normal’ we have known?

Supporting Grief – ‘If there is anything I can do…….’
When supporting grief, people will probably not respond to ‘is there anything I can do’ but will probably be appreciative of the shopping being done.

Supporting Grief – There will be those days
For those in grief, there will be days and moments; birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries and events that will be triggers for sadness. Memories conjure up all manner of feelings……..

Supporting Grief – Trauma and the Emotional Brain
When in trama, maybe in grief, our ability to reason and to think are compromised. We may need a friend to keep us safe.

Supporting Grief – you may have heard it before
Supporting grief may involve being attentive to the same fears, emotions, stories and regrets over and over again. That is quite OK, as it is all part of being able to reconcile the past, with a new reality which is the present, to remember, and to be able to say goodbye.

Supporting grief will require patience
It is a privilege to share in someone’s grief journey. You are going into their ‘inner world’ and it will require patience.

Sometimes it is OK to be Silent
In our desperation to try and fill in the gap with some words, sometimes silence is the best answer. Not a silence that is uncomfortable, but a silence that might even say “I am not quite sure of the words right now, but is it OK for me just to sit with you.”

GRIEF – Some thoughts about what is NOT helpful
Death is an awkward reality. When we are wanting to support someone in grief, there is some unhelpful things, often our words that can be unhelpful.

Anticipatory Grief
When bad news comes of an untreatable illness all manner of emotions set in. Grief may have started.

The Dual Process Approach
In grief we oscillate between days of emotion, while other days we may forget about the grief all together, because life gets busy. Feeling the loss and dealing with the practicalities of life, go hand in hand.
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Contact
Trevor Hayley
Servicing Greater Adelaide and Regional South Australia
Phone: 0409 107 372
Email: memorials@trevorhayley.com.au
ABN 73 737 609 724
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